


this must be my dream

by iced_latte



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: I honestly don't know what to tag this as, M/M, Sort of supernatural, brief mentions of smtown, will add more tags later
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-04
Updated: 2018-01-03
Packaged: 2018-09-21 22:30:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9569615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iced_latte/pseuds/iced_latte
Summary: The day started out like any other.Except it didn't.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Two-shot inspired by Teen Wolf S6A.

Taeyong wasn't sure how it happened.

  
His day started out like any other. He woke up, Taeil still sound asleep in the other bed in the room, and made breakfast. Their schedule wasn’t exactly full that day—just a radio show appearance, a photoshoot and interview, and then more practice back at the company. Still, they needed all the energy they could get. He felt a little sorry that Mark and Donghyuck were missing another day in school, but sacrifices had to be made—he just wished they could rest right after.

  
Like clockwork, everyone came out of their rooms. Johnny and Taeil were the first people up, as expected. Jaehyun comes out next, yawning and stretching his arms. A door opened, and they could hear the tell-tale signs of Winwin complaining and Doyoung doing his utter best to be stern. As an unspoken agreement, the two youngest members of their group were left to sleep in a few more minutes. And as another unspoken agreement, Taeyong was always the one who woke them up.

  
While the leader was busy waking the younger ones up, the people in the dining area finally noticed the food.

  
As Taeyong walked back to the dining area with Mark and Donghyuck in tow, the other members were puzzled early on in the morning.

  
“Taeyong-ah, why did you make too much food today?”, Taeil asked, wondering whether his roommate was hungrier than usual that day.

  
“What do you mean?”, Taeyong asked, confused about the question. “I made enough for nine—” And it was then that he noticed that there were only eight of them.

So why did he make food for _nine_ people?

 

* * *

 

There was this annoying thought at the back of Taeyong’s mind.

  
It wasn’t that distracting to the point of actually affecting his work—his work ethic wouldn’t let him be completely distracted. But he’s been feeling that his day or his group—his _life_ —was incomplete. They’ve been practicing for a while now but he couldn’t let go of the notion that the choreography looked like it lacked something. Or someone. But as he looked at his group in the practice room, he couldn’t place what it was. Or who.

  
A cold can of coffee was pressed to his cheek, startling him out of his thoughts. Looking up, he saw Jaehyun’s worried face.

  
“Hyung, are you okay?”

  
With a small smile, Taeyong nods and tells him not to worry. And while he’s sure Jaehyun doesn’t believe a single word he said, he at least gives him a comforting pat on the shoulder before going back to where Mark and Johnny were discussing something or the other.

  
Looking at the can in his hand, his mind was screaming at him again.

  
No one else liked his sweet coffee in the group, but why did he have a nagging thought that he used to share his coffee with someone else?

 

* * *

 

They were asked to give a message for an event in Japan.

  
It was a normal occurrence, although the group still wasn’t sure why. Some people in their unit weren't part of the planned Japanese unit, yet they were already being made to give messages. In the middle of filming the message, Taeyong stopped speaking and expected someone to pick up where he left off. When no one did, the people behind the camera yelled cut and the group teasing Taeyong.

  
The cameras rolled once more and to everyone’s utter surprise, Taeyong started speaking in Japanese fluently. After two takes, the film crew and management were more than satisfied with the video reel they had, and thanked the group for exceeding their expectations.

  
When they left, the group immediately crowded around Taeyong.

  
“Hyung, I didn’t know you spoke Japanese!”, Mark said excitedly, still reeling in shock and amazement.

  
“I...actually didn’t know I could speak Japanese,” Taeyong admitted in disbelief himself.

  
And there was the feeling once again. That Lee Taeyong could speak Japanese because someone taught it to him.

  
And that someone was someone special—he just needed to figure out who.

 

* * *

 

_“Taeyong-ah?”_

  
_“Hmm?”_

  
_“You think when I disappear, you’ll forget me?”_

  
_“What—Are you planning something?”_

  
_“No!”_

  
_“Then why are you asking?”_

  
_“Please? I just need to know.”_

  
_“Why?”_

  
_“Because.”_

  
_“You’re so weird. I won’t forget you okay? You’re my bestfriend.”_

  
_“But if you do?”_

  
_“What do you mean?”_

  
_“I mean if you…forget?”_

  
_“What’s going on? Where is this coming from?”_

  
_“Just answer the question, Taeyongie.”_

  
_“I—Then I’ll do everything to remember you.”_

 

* * *

 

“Hey, Youngho?”

  
“Hmm?”

  
“Do you ever get that feeling that we’re missing someone?”

  
Johnny looked up from his book, clueless as to why Taeyong even asked the question. He looked around the dorm from his seat, before going back to Taeyong. “What do you mean?” As far as he was concerned, the whole group was complete. Sure, Hansol and Kun haven’t exactly debuted yet, but he’s pretty sure no one was missing.

  
With a sigh, Taeyong sat beside Johnny and leaned his head back. He stared at the dull ceiling, unsure how to describe what he was feeling. “Like there’s still one more person? Something’s nagging at the back of my mind and it’s making me restless.”

  
With a concerned look, Johnny sat up straighter and looked at his friend. Taeyong was still staring at the ceiling, his eyes unmoving, as if he was in a trance. “Taeyong-ah?”, he started out hesitantly, “Are you…alright?”

  
Taeyong visibly deflated, before standing up straight again, shooting a smile at Johnny. If Johnny thought there was something wrong with him, then he won’t get the answers he needed. Or at least that’s what Taeyong thought.

  
“Yeah…Yeah, I’m okay. Just weird dreams.”

 

* * *

  
They were in Osaka that day for the SMTOWN concert. And being rookies who had a lot more time to kill compared to their seniors, the group walked around the city and explored during their free time. Reaching _Dotonbori_ , Taeyong made a beeline for the _takoyaki_ place just near the corner of the river, his members following him.

  
“Wow hyung. I didn’t know you liked takoyaki that much,” Doyoung observed as the leader ordered for two.

  
“Of course not. The other one’s for Yuta.”

  
And while Taeyong found nothing out of the ordinary, the rest of the group certainly did. Unsure how to approach the topic, the group pushed Jaehyun to ask.

“Hyung, who’s Yuta?”

 

* * *

 

After that episode, the other members started becoming a lot more concerned and wary of their leader. And while he himself noticed how his other members were acting around him, it didn’t stop Taeyong from attempting to figure out what was going on. He’s stayed behind the company after practice, thinking about that missing part of his life. He’s walked around the different parts of the city, forcing his mind to connect the dots and remember something.

  
But it could only go on for so long before his members intervened.

  
One night, as he was on his way out of the dorm and into the cold city air, he found the door blocked by his members—his friends—and effectively stopped him from going out.

  
“Guys, can I pass through please?”, he asked, well aware that whatever excuse he was going to come up with was futile.

  
“No. We need to talk.” Taeil, while quiet for the most part, looked at Taeyong with stern and worry and steered him towards the living room. He signalled for the others to follow him, before sitting Taeyong down on the couch.

  
“Taeyong-ah, what’s going on?”, the soft voice of concern from the oldest had Taeyong freezing up.

  
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, hyung.”

  
“Let’s not kid ourselves here. You’re making food for nine people, you can speak fluent Japanese when you haven’t been studying it for that long, you’re staying behind the company more often, and you’re always out. I don’t even need to point out that you’re more spaced out than usual. Now tell us what’s going on. We want to help you.”

  
At that, Taeyong cried.

  
Alarmed, Jaehyun immediately wrapped his arms around the leader while Doyoung and Taeil wiped away his tears. Mark all but ran to the kitchen and got a glass of water ready when his leader finally calmed down.

  
“I don’t know, hyung. I don’t know. I just—I feel like someone’s missing and I’m trying to look for it. Don’t you feel it? Don’t you feel incomplete or anything?”

  
“Taeyong…”

  
“No! No, I’m not losing my mind. I swear someone’s missing. Yuta wouldn’t—”

  
And at that, everyone froze once more.

  
“Taeyong-ah, who’s Yuta?”

 

* * *

 

_“Remember when we went to Japan?”_

  
_“You do remember we went to Japan several times right?”_

  
_“Oh right. Well do you remember when we went to my house during our Osaka leg for SMTOWN?”_

  
_“Yuta, we_ always _do that. Be specific.”_

  
_“Oh right! That one trip when it was just the two of us? The others didn’t want to come? And my younger sister wouldn’t stop tailing you?”_

  
_“Oh, you meant_ that _trip. Yeah, why?”_

  
_“I never told you this before, but I really did appreciate you being there.”_

  
_“What brought this on?”_

  
_“Just accept it. And I don’t know. I just…wanted to thank you, I guess. I don’t know if I’ll ever get the chance again.”_

  
_“Yuta, you’re scaring me. What’s going on? First, telling me to remember you, and now this?”_

  
_“It’s nothing! I just never fully appreciated you and I feel bad. So there. Thank you for being my best and greatest friend, Taeyong.”_


	2. snap out of it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone's worried that Taeyong's losing it.
> 
> Taeyong's worried that they won't snap out of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is for everyone who patiently waited. Thank you so much.

It's been three days since he last had that dream.

Yuta had told him how much he appreciated him, almost as if it was premonition on his part. As if he already knew that he was going to disappear and no one was going to remember him. And in the three days that passed, he's cried himself to sleep, thinking—regretting—about Yuta. He continued to haunt his dreams. And the way Taeyong went about every day of his life was like muscle memory on his part. At least until he found something that he's pretty sure belonged to Yuta.

And it was his Nintendo.

Flashbacks of the time when he shared rooms with the Japanese boy had bombarded his mind. Of waking up earlier than him, cleaning out his side of the room, and Yuta wakes up after him. Memories of when he played his Nintendo first thing in the morning after he had brushed his teeth and didn't get up from his bed until it was time for breakfast. Tears had started streaming down his face as he hugged the Nintendo to his chest, suddenly feeling heavier when he was filled with memories of Yuta. And when Johnny had knocked on his door, Taeyong didn't even respond.

“Taeyong-ah—”

Then he ran to their leader and his friend, alarmed at what could have prompted him to react like this.

“Taeyong. Taeyong-ah. _Taeyong, snap out of it_.”

But he continued staring at the Nintendo, his whole being in disbelief. He was holding something that Yuta _actually_ owned and he's not sure what to make of it.

“Johnny, this is his. This is Yuta's.  _Johnny, he's somewhere here and we need to find him._ ”

* * *

So maybe that episode with Johnny wasn't the best thing to happen.

Not that he thought it was a good idea, but now he was being looked over by a psychiatrist right after that episode. It was worrying and very concerning and he wasn't even going to deny it, but Yuta was  _real_ and they didn't get that. They didn't understand him and he's pretty sure no one did. He hasn't let go of the Nintendo since he found it, bringing it with him everywhere he went, hoping that Yuta would appear at some point in the time. _That was how it worked right?_ , he thought.

“Taeyong, you have to let go of that,” Taeil had said gently, hoping it would alleviate some of the younger's worries.

“No, hyung.”

“Taeyong—”

“Hyung!”

The leader had immediately pulled his hand away from Taeil when Jaemin had come in through the door, smiling bright and happy just as he always did. He never forgot to plaster on a reassuring smile, fake as it may be, as he held the kid who had come barrelling in. He ruffled the youngest's hair, not even denying the fact that he missed the kid, and he took him in for a hug while Taeil had ruffled Jaemin's hair this time.

And it was at this time that he knew he wasn't alone.

“Hyung, have you seen Yuta-hyung? I've been looking for him everywhere but I haven't seen him since I got here.”

* * *

_“I'm gonna miss the Dream kids.”_

_“What do you mean?”_

_“Nothing. I'm just gonna miss them a lot. Especially Jaeminnie.”_

_“Yuta, stop talking as if you're disappearing and never coming back.”_

_“I'm not speaking like that! I'm gonna miss Jaeminnie a lot though.”_

_“Jaeminnie's always spoiled when he's with you.”_

_“What can I say? The prettiest people have to stick together. Why do you think I'm stuck here with you?”_

* * *

It didn't work out as he had hoped.

Not only did everyone else think he was going crazy, they thought Jaemin was going crazy as well. The rest of the group had dismissed it as Jaemin being high on whatever it was that was given to him while he was still recovering, and it frustrated the kid to no ends. As much as Taeyong wanted to help him out, he knew that he was going to get the brunt of it  _and then_ looking for Yuta wouldn't go anywhere.

They were currently at a music festival, practising and rehearsing for the show later in the evening, when their manager and Jaemin were in an argument about something or the other.

"Hyung, it looks wrong!"

"Jaemin-ah, what are you talking about? This was the choreography—"

"No! It's made for  _nine_ people, not eight!"

And then it was there that Taeyong knew he had to step in.

"Jaeminnie, stop it. We should be focusing—"

But being on the receiving end of Jaemin's heated glare was something he never expected and something he never wanted to experience again. The words that were thrown at him had him succumbing to the fact that he was steadily giving up.

" _No_. I never expected it from you, hyung. Yuta-hyung wouldn't give up if he was in your place and I'm so disappointed that you already are.  _Some best friend you are_."

The younger Korean had left the venue, Jeno bowing to them and apologising in his best friend's behalf, before following him to the van and let him cool off.

But Taeyong knew Jaemin was right. He was giving up and he didn't even mean to.

* * *

_"You know what I think?"_

_"That I'm the most handsome person in the world?"_

_"What? No! Yuta, seriously."_

_"Offensive! I'm the most handsome person in the world, don't deny."_

_"Okay fine, but that wasn't what I was thinking about!"_

_"Then what?"_

_"Uh..."_

_"Taeyongie, I don't know what 'uh...' means. You're so weird."_

_"No, I mean—ugh okay—just—"_

_"Still not making sense."_

_"Fine! I just thought I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you. Having my back and all."_

_"Sappy. I'm going to miss that."_

_"Shut up. And stop saying you're going to miss me because you're not going anywhere."_

* * *

Jaemin had been scolded and Taeyong felt all the more guilty for that.

He knew Jaemin was probably just worried that he wouldn't see his Yuta-hyung again, and Taeyong was just as worried he wouldn't meet his best friend ever again. And it hurt. It hurt that there was a big chance he wouldn't be able to meet Yuta in this lifetime again. But he didn't know what else to do when everyone else but him and Jaemin  _knew_ who he was.

So it was another welcome surprise when Sicheng had approached him one day, his phone in hand, and a worried look on his face.

"What's wrong, Sicheng?"

"Hyung, do you remember about...about the boy you were talking about? Yuta-hyung?"

Wary that Johnny or Jaehyun may have put him up to this, he refused to answer the young Chinese in hopes that he would drop the subject. He didn't want Sicheng telling him to get help when it was clear that he didn't. But Sicheng took Taeyong not answering as a sign that he could continue—and Taeyong was thankful that he did.

"I...I had a dream. About him. We shared—share—a room, right? It was him, me, and Doyoung-hyung? He was the one who taught me Japanese and Korean when he could. Right? He liked playing football and he's always tailing you and being your assistant when you cook. Tell me he's real?"

And it was then that Taeyong cried.

* * *

_"Stop hogging WinWinnie."_

_"First of all, I'm his favourite."_

_"Nice try, Yuta, but we all know Taeil-hyung's his favourite."_

_"Okay rude, those are lies."_

_"It's okay, you're still my favourite."_

_"Please, I know it's Mark. And I'm not your dongsaeng! But whatever helps you sleep at night, Taeyongie."_

* * *

After that episode with WinWin, everyone started remembering who Yuta was.

Doyoung had come to him, asking him about Yuta because he could  _distinctly remember_ arguing with the Japanese all the time. Taeil started recalling the times when Yuta would playfully berate him for stealing WinWin away from him. The Dream kids had asked about Taeyong's assistant who does more harm than good when it came to cooking. Jaehyun and Johnny were a little harder to convince, but once they found it in themselves to believe, they felt plenty guilty over the fact that they forgot who Nakamoto Yuta was.

But even then, there wasn't anything they could do because Yuta still wasn't there.

"Someone just doesn't disappear!"

"Damn it, Johnny, you're not listening to me! I don't know what the fuck happened to Yuta and I don't know how the hell it happened but it did!"

"Guys, calm down—"

"I believe you but Jesus, Taeyong!  _Look around_. Where the fuck is Yuta? Did you ever stop and think that  _maybe_ he didn't want to be found?"

"Well did you ever stop and think that  _maybe he wants to be found_? Fuck—"

"That's enough! Enough. Nothing will happen if we keep arguing to ourselves, damn it. Yuta wouldn't want this. Jaehyun, take Taeyong somewhere to cool off. Mark, take Johnny with you."

And they followed. After all, Moon Taeil rarely ever raised his voice.

* * *

Taeyong didn't know if everyone remembering Yuta was a good thing now or not.

He was thankful that everyone was trying to look for Yuta now, but he was also tired that  _everyone_ was trying to look for Yuta as well. They had too many leads and way too little time. Their time was eaten away by practice and they barely had time to even think about where their other member was. It didn't help that they were the only ones who could remember him as well. But then something happened.

_Taeyong-ah..._

That voice had Taeyong whipping his head to the side, wondering if he heard right. The rest of the guys in the practice room were acting like they didn't hear Yuta so maybe it really was just him who was hearing it.

_Taeyong-ah, can you hear me?_

"Yuta?", he whispered, not wanting to alert any of the others. He was starting to have trouble breathing but he couldn't care about that now. He wanted to know if he wasn't losing his mind.

_Taeyongie, I don't have much time. But listen carefully okay?_

"Yuta, damn it. This is not funny." Unconsciously, Taeyong had raised his voice, failing in his plan of not alerting the rest of the group. Taeil and Johnny had immediately approached him, rubbing his back and telling him to calm down, willing him to stop shaking—he didn't even  _know_ he was shaking. "Where are you?"

_No time, Taeyong-ah. I don't have much time. Just remember me. Keep remembering me and I'll see you in the place where we made the promise._

A comforting breeze passed by, and Taeyong knew it was Yuta. Without meaning too, the leader had started sobbing, clinging on to Taeil as Johnny (and Jaehyun) started wiping away his tears. "He talked to me and I couldn't do anything.  _Fuck, I couldn't do anything_. What kind of fucking friend am I?"

"What did he say, hyung? Is he...Is he still okay? Do you—Why didn't—Hyung,  _please_."

And the way Jaemin had broken down had him steeling himself and wiped away the remainder of the tears. Lee Taeyong needed to be strong—not just for Yuta, not just for Jaemin, not just for NCT, but also for himself.

"Keep remembering him. We just need to keep remembering him and he'll come back. We'll see him when we do, and we'll see him at the place where we made the promise."

* * *

It was harder than they thought it would be.

Memories flooded their systems but they didn't even  _know_ if the memories were real. They were in that state of disorientation, constantly wondering if the memories they were remembering were things that actually happened or things they made up. With every conjured memory comes self-doubt, only dissipating when one of Yuta's belongings appear.

Tired from practice that night, the rest of the group had dinner and fell face first on their beds right after their showers, unable to take the fatigue from their tight schedules. But Taeyong wasn't Taeyong if he wasn't up at three in the morning, overthinking and constantly worrying over everyone and anyone. Awake that he was and so sensitive his hearing was, he didn't fail to hear the front door opening and closing. Curious as to which of his members tried _sneaking out_ at dawn when he saw all of them practically collapse on their beds earlier on, Taeyong had gotten up and opened the door, a startled gasp in his wake.

* * *

_"Yuta?"_

_"I'm home, Taeyong-ah."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SORRY, THIS WAS LONG OVERDUE KDSJHFKJDSF. I'm also not satisfied with the ending ugh pls drag me. My ass was late with this but I got caught up in real life and my other groups and just ????
> 
> I was also mourning for Jonghyun, considering SHINee will forever be one of the most special groups I hold dearly to my heart. 
> 
> But I hope this was to everyone's liking. And once again, I'd like to thank everyone for patiently waiting for this chapter. Also, I might come back to writing YuTae and Homin (and probably even start on TaeKook) sooner than anticipated. :')

**Author's Note:**

> So maybe binging on the latest season of Teen Wolf wasn't that great of an idea, lol. Let me know what you guys think! I have everything ready but I'm still proofreading the thing lol. Kudos and comments are much appreciated! Thanks everyone!


End file.
